Friday, January 23, 2009

OMG: Unprecedented Double Secret Preemptive Blanket Turbo Pardons!

The Raw Story reports (and the Daily Kos is on top of the "blockbuster") that "observers" are wondering about the lack of last-minute controversial pardons in the Bush administration. Assuming, of course, that Bush is the Anti-Christ, there must be some explanation for his behavior which underscores his evil nature. It could not possibly be related to his sparing use of the pardon power in Texas, or his sparing use of the power in eight years as president. No way. Too empirical and "neutral" sounding. Boring. So, Keith Olbermann asks, with great concern, "Could he have pardoned more people than we know?" And who better to ask than John Dean, who - unlike other Watergate criminals - has yet to win a presidential pardon for himself and has been calling for Bush's impeachment for years!

Of course, Dean, as the Justice Department's liaison with Congress and White House Counsel during the Nixon administration, distinguished himself by driving a purple Porsch 911, heading up the lobbying effort for the stumbling, bumbling, failed nominations of Clement Haynsworth and G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court and committing multiple felonies related to the Watergate scandal. Dean was sentenced to one to four years in prison but managed to serve only four months (no doubt because we have so much "equal justice under law").

Time magazine once noted Dean "worked out the legal basis for Nixon's impoundment of funds, broad use of pocket vetoes and Executive privilege. He also helped arrange Nixon's commutation of jail sentences being served by Teamster Boss Jimmy Hoffa (which was widely interpreted as a political gesture in return for Teamster support of Nixon in the election) and by Mafia Capo Angelo ("Gyp") DeCarlo." So, it is easy to see why the Libby commutation and George W. Bush upset him so.

Dean, however, officially kicked off the CYA season by comforting Olbermann, saddened by the lack of a pardon scandal to chew on (and after so much feverish prognostication). Dean asserted presidential pardons "don't have to be announced." And, he added, Bush "might have, indeed" granted unprecedented double secret preemptive blanket turbo pardons. Verily, verily, he said, Bush "could have done it." Olbermann raised his battered persona from the ashes and declared, "We'll go looking for secret pardons later in the week, I suppose." The unproclaimed proclamation! Aaahhh!

Incidentally, indeed, perhaps on the very edge of the periphery: in order to prop up his delirious - but energizing - speculation, Mr. Dean quoted ... ahem ... Mr. Dean cited ... uh ... Dean referenced ... he ... well, actually Dean really just pulled it all right out of his ear. And the blogging world goes wild! See story here.


Anonymous said...

I notice you only mention Dean's dark side activities but fail to mention his important testimony to Sen. Ervin's investigation committee.

P.S. Ruckman, Jr. said...

EDITOR:I think this was well recognized in the statement that his sentence was only 1 to 4 years. Best,

twocs said...

As the president can make secret pardons, that means that an ex-president can also pardon people as long as he backdates the pardon.

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